Life's Stinky Potpourri.

Audio entries today blog-specific, so will get the others in the other blogs soon.  Yeah, well.  You know.  Whatevs.

NOTE: Sorry for the background music being so loud.  I'll be more careful in the future. :)

;p

I feel like I'm on... days delays.

Okay, so I'm really late in getting these uploaded.  What can I say, except that life has be freaking hell and I'm juggling a LOT at this time.  Anyway, you'll find THIS is, well, what it is, and the next one to follow will also be behind.... because it's about Halloween.  *sigh*  Yeah, things are THAT chaotic right now.  At any rate, late or not, I still feel compelled to talk about my favorite time of year, my favorite holiday of all.. Halloween.  But THAT will be the next audio blog.  As for this one, it's basically where I was about a week ago before I discovered that I DID have a way around the Weight Watchers conundrum... You'll see.  Just listen to this, if you're compelled to do so, then you'll see what I talk about tomorrow (Nov 2, 2016).  For tonight I'm playing catch up with TWO audio blogs.

Sorry about that.  Life.. what can I say?

September 01, 2016: Taking Care of Me is Priority #1

Life.  You know.

The Big [E]Vent...

Well, such is the way things go for me and blogging, I spent a large portion of time and energy posting on Where Fireflies Dream.  Many times I end up there first, which means the unloading happens in it's full-blown glory before I get here.  Just check the links (side of this page) that says Alter Egos.  Those are my other blogs, as I've mentioned before...

So the big [e]vent happened and I'm left spent, exhausted, and wondering if I really accomplished anything at all.  I'm also wondering how many people think I should be doing the big 'vent' to the person who needs to hear it.  Well, I assure you, I have been quite clear on how I feel, discussing the problems I have with the way things are, and stating clearly that my needs as a person simply aren't being met in any way, shape or form.  And oh honey, those words fell on completely deaf ears.  People are often emotionally lazy, and T... is one of those people.  He won't put any effort into anything, so... flipping the switch to autopilot and sitting on one's own emotional ass will get you nowhere with me.  I will simply find a way to live my life... without you.

This is the beginning of that very thing.

Hey, I know some guys don't do this, and even the ones who do don't all do it to the same degree.  But emotional laziness never got anyone anywhere.  I mean, seriously... if you expect one person to do all the work, you're going to be in serious trouble in the end.

50/50.  But in my case it's more like 20/80.  And I'm freaking exhausted.  Okay, T.. take the damn wheel or you'll be flying alone!  And chronic remorse isn't going to fix this.

Okay, so I'm finding my way along and, although I struggle at times, I'm still plugging forward.  I will find a way.  I will find my life.  And I WILL find me again.  It's just a matter of time.  Once the anemia is resolved, and once I get an "All clear" from my cardiologist on the whole Grade 2 Diastolic Dysfunction thing... I'm going to put everything I have into getting healthy again.  Iron supplementation may make it difficult, and restoring iron stores takes a really long time.  But I can do this.  I MUST do this.  I WILL DO THIS.

Watch and see.

PART 1: While I was looking the other way...

After focusing on the liver issues and anemia and how to resolve them, I didn't take into account that anything else could be causing or contributing to my symptoms.  After my ablations last year for AFib, Atrial Flutter, and Supraventricular Tachycardia (SVT), I figured that was going to be pretty much it for heart issues.  I've had Mitral Valve Prolapse since I was a kid, and yes... that valve began to leak and is at the mild-moderate stage at this time.  I'm supposed to get a yearly ultrasound to keep an eye on things, and up till this past week it was just something I had to do.  I'm about 6 months late on this past one because the clinic I usually go to has lost 3 doctors to career move or changes, and this means my appointment got pushed months out due to the shortage of doctors.  I didn't really think much of it and decided to see if I could get my yearly ultrasound done when I went to see my EP about getting the Watchman Device implanted in my heart... at his suggestion.  I won't discuss that particular device right now because I've previously posted about it.  And I've yet to see if I can even have the procedure done in lieu of recent ultrasound findings.

Saturday (22nd) I received the ultrasound report in the mail.  I certainly didn't expect to see what was on the sheet, to tell you the truth.

I know the MVP can get worse in some people, and mine is slowly getting worse.  I also know that during my last two ultrasounds I discovered that my aortic valve was also leaking.  Well, it is what it is, and this is why I get a yearly ultrasound.

So I'm home alone and looking over the report that arrived in the mail on Saturday, and I see several things listed that surprised me...and I've listed the highlights below.  I will get to what it all means in a moment...

Left Ventricle
Diastolic filling demonstrates a pseudonormal pattern (new).

Left Atrium
Left Atrium Chamber is mildly dilated (new).

Right Atrium
Right Atrium Chamber is mildly dilated (new).

Aortic Valve
The Aortic Valve is mildly calcified.  There is mild aortic regurgitation (I already knew about this).

Mitral Valve
The Mitral Valve leaflet is mildly thickened.  There is mild-moderate mitral regurgitation (knew about this as well, with the exception of the valve now being thickened).

Tricuspid Valve
Trace tricuspid regurgitation (new).

Pulmonary Valve
There is trivial pulmonic regurgitation (new.  "Trivial" refers to the amount, but there is nothing trivial about this).

Diagnosis

Grade II/IV diastolic dysfunction.  This is heart failure.

Okay, so... there it is.  Now what?  Basically, Grade I is pretty much reversible and doesn't require treatment.  Grades II, on the other hand, requires treatment in hopes it won't progress quickly.  I have to wait to find out WHAT that treatment will be.  For some, this occurred due to high BP, but for me.. it was most likely a combination of years of having SVT, MVP, and then Afib and atrial flutter.  It's not like they can treat my HBP because I don't have that.  I may still end up on a beta blocker (hate those) to slow my HR down so it fills properly and doesn't regurgitate back into my lungs.

So yeah, there were a few new things that I learned about from this last ultrasound, none of them good.  Grade II is usually symptomatic, and I now wonder how much of the awful symptoms I've had are due to DD and not anemia or liver issues.  Something interesting that I've discovered, however, is that at night the pressure can cause RUQ pain in the liver.

Well, what do I do with this information?  Simply put, I need to get my shit together.  Exercise (with Dr's approval) is necessary, diet changes (low-fat and low-sodium), etc.  The usual.  My question is--- how the hell do I exercise when I now deal with exercise intolerance?  I guess I will have to find out.

I've been in a sort of daze since I received the news, and while I'm not really 'scared,' parts of me think I should be, because fear is often motivating in these circumstances.  Still, I'm not sure how I feel about this.  And as for T... he's indifferent, doesn't talk about it, and goes through his entire day as if I told him I stubbed my toe.  And it's not the 'I'm going to think positive' type of indifference, either.  He really has this reaction to just about everything, unless it's about him specifically.  This has been an ongoing problem of late, and it's now become more critical than ever to figure out what it all means to me.  Doesn't really matter what his indifference means to him, because he just claims he's not.  Denial isn't a river in Egypt.

So the question remains... how do I feel about this?  The answer is.. I really don't know.

It's not easy to sort through something like this without talking about it.  But who do I talk to?  No clue.  No clue at all.

Reminder: My other blogs

A couple of you have sent me messages on FaceBook regarding a few issues I promised to talk about or update about.  I have.  You may have just missed where I spoke about them.  This was the problem I mentioned previously about keeping all 3 of my blogs.  But you guys begged me to keep them all, so I did. :)

So as a reminder, and to either clear up confusion or create more, here are the links to my other blogs.  You can always find them in the menu section (side bar) under Alter Ego.  Also, in case you've forgotten, mostly the separate blogs are for focus, so that all topics don't all end up getting blended together in one place.

Hope this helps...

Where Fireflies Dream

http://gothicwell.blogspot.com

All Things Ephemeral

http://autumnwhisperstome.blogspot.com

Boo’s Juicy Bits

http://boosjuicybits.blogspot.com

Each blog is designed for a specific purpose and focus, true, but all of them overlap in many ways.  I may end up burning myself out posting on one, and may not get a chance to post an entry on the others the same day, or at the same time.  There will be times, in other words, where it may appear as if I've not made an entry...when I actually have but on a different blog.

A brief explanation of the blogs may help a little bit.  Just remember that even if a topic/blog may not interest you, I may have spilled everything there and not posted elsewhere.

Where Fireflies Dream was intended to be a place for dreams, wishes, hopes, plans, goals, etc.  But it's evolved over time into something bigger than that.  That's about all I can do to explain this blog.  There are days when the focus is implied, and days when I'm speaking in contrast to what the focus actually is.

All Things Ephemeral is the original blog, the one I built and posted on about anything and everything you could possibly imagine.  I used to give quite a bit of details, which often meant deleting entries after a time that said too much.  Hence the name "All Things Ephemeral."  Now, I've not recently unloaded in detail there, so most of the entries remain intact.

NOTE:  It must be said that when I do post in great detail there the post may not remain for long.  So if you make it a habit of reading posts in this blog you probably won't miss anything.  If you wait too long.. the entry may be deleted.

Boo's Juicy Bits:  Now this blog is mainly about health and diet in the context of flirtatious fun.  With health issues wreaking havoc, however, it's changed the entries for the most part.  But as things change and I get on top of things... it will return to its original and flirty content.  I'm not about faking things to entertain, so you guys will know pretty much where I am by what you read there.

Again, ALL of these blogs intersect in some way.  They all have a purpose, to which I've tried to keep true on, but they still cross over one another in ways.

Okay.  Enough of this.  Again, you can find the links to the Alter Ego blogs in the bar to the side of each blog.

Well... this liquid diet is kicking my ass today, so I'm off here for now.

*waves*

Really?

It's been a confusing and unsettling series of events over the past several months.  Health issues overlapping relationship issues are taking tolls on me that I'm having difficulty keeping up with.  Damage control has become the name of the game each and every day, and I must say...this is NOT how 'life' is meant to be lived.  This.. is not living at all.

Living life.  Isn't this supposed to be something that comes naturally?  I mean, as ridiculous as it is to even say out loud, I still feel like this is the big question of the day.  After posting in Where Fireflies Dream I feel like I got some debris out of the way and am able to really touch on what it is I need.  Not that I didn't know what those things were, because I did... do.  It's just that I wouldn't allow myself to really think about those things for more than a few seconds, because dwelling on them (imho) didn't seem like the productive thing to do under the circumstances.  Know what I mean?

Stating the obvious to affect change largely doesn't work.  Well, actually... I've found it doesn't work at all.  So what then?  What now?  How do I proceed to correct the imbalance in my life so I can FEEL ALIVE, have an actual life, and also breathe.. thrive.. and reignite the vibrant flame that once burned inside me?  And just how do I go about doing this when I feel like shit all of the time?

Tomorrow I see the GI specialist again to figure out, I assume, what to do about my unhappy liver.  I don't drink, smoke, and I don't take but the most necessary medications.  And... I avoid Tylenol now like the plague.  I don't know what he will say tomorrow.  I have no idea if he still wants to proceed with a liver biopsy--something that is avoided if possible.

Damn.  I'm too tired to continue here.  Perhaps I'll come back a bit later.  WTF.  *sigh*

Liver

One word that can change everything.  Who focuses on their liver?  No one.  But maybe we should...

Short and sweet for now, because I've told all in my other blog.. Where Fireflies Dream.  But basically my blood work came back showing Stage 3 Nonalcoholic Steatohepatitis (NASH).  It's hereditary, and it can happen to anyone.  Precursors are usually diabetes, excess weight, and a few other things, and people can have this for years without ever knowing.  Liver enzymes can be elevated during one test, normal the next, and varying degrees of both.  So some actually have no idea they're dealing with it until they have symptoms, or when it shows up on labs.  Either way, one must be their own advocate if faced with this, because too many GP's shrug it off and try to treat it themselves.  VERY BAD IDEA, to say the least.  This disease should be dealt with and monitored by a GI specialist.

Right now I'm still in the waiting game.  I have a follow up to discuss my lab results next week, and in a couple of weeks I am scheduled for an EGD and colonoscopy.  Duodenal ulcer is suspected as well, so the EGD is basically for that.  Now, whether or not he decides to to a liver biopsy at that time remains to be seen.  Grading criteria with labs is such that, in many cases, a biopsy is unnecessary.  However, in the case of NASH, because of the inflammation and damage doctors often opt to do the biopsy.  NASH, btw, is the more serious form of NAFLD (Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease).

There's no actual 'cure,' but there have been cases where treating with diabetes meds help... even if one doesn't have diabetes.  Specific diet changes and exercise is really key to helping to stave off the progression of NASH into cirrhosis.  Many times with NAFLD people have been able to reverse the effects and heal their livers.  But if they revert back to anything that caused the issue to begin with (not controlling diabetes, eating a bad diet, etc.).. NAFLD can return.

Prognosis really depends on the individual case, how much damage is done (if any), etc.

This is all I have for now---shortened here due to feeling like crap and having posted the whole thing on Where Fireflies Dream.  I'm tired, and it's time to chill.

till next time.....

Off the grid and minding the muddle

Life's details are vast and varied these days.  Keeping up is an act of will, perseverance, and a whole lot like everyday magic, when you think about it.  How crowded and hurried the days are, and yet how brazenly slow.

Renovations continue in a less frenzied state, though they do have their moments of speeding up so I can barely keep pace.  Nature of the beast, I suppose.  But at least things are moving along.  Still so much to do.  Not far from done, it's just that once you get one thing updated, the things near it look... well, you know.  At some point you have to stop and reel yourself in before you end up rebuilding your house! ;)  It's all good.  Things are nearing the finish line now.

On the matter of health I'm attempting the act of patiently waiting to see specialists with regards to the lung nodule and.. whatever is going on with my liver...muscles...or whatever it is that's throwing my liver enzymes, etc. out of whack.  Things are highly elevated that shouldn't be, another is dropping that SHOULD NOT be, back in vitamin D defiency again, sliding back into anemia again, and... more.

It was really shocking to get pages and pages of blood work in my hands and see just how much had flown out of the normal range.

Now I await the 2nd pulmonologist appointment, and the GI/Hepatologist appointment, a follow up with my rheumatologist with another discussion about all the labs that are out of whack.  But the good news is that I finally found a good primary care doctor, a DO! :D  THAT, I am very happy about.  Only one visit with him, but he has good reviews and... I like him so far.

Well, time to sign off.  But.. I will try my best to post more often.  There's a lot of abdominal pain, and referred pain.. so I may not be here every single day.  But I will try my best. :)

Till then....  Listen to this with me... I LOVE this song.. sexy, weird, crazy, naughty... and sounds sooooooo good in my car! ;)  Kind of weird for a vegan to post, huh? lol

Such erratic behavior!!!

Nothing to worry about.  Just uncomfortable.  VERY uncomfortable.  And I'm hoping it will be also short-lived, though I supposed there is a better way to word that given what the issue is.  The feeling of my heart speeding up out of nowhere and staying elevated.  The erratic beats and resulting anxiety, that isn't emotional but physical in nature, and it waking me up, and keeping me up at night.  The weird pressure in my throat...  all I could very well do without.  It's what's kept me absent from here for a few days (for the most part).

It's the salt, I think.  Having given it up for the most part, except for the occasional smidge added here  and there in a salad or something prior to this (except during juicing), I've maintained a low-sodium diet.  But.. I fell off the rails on that over the past couple of weeks, and REALLY derailed completely over the past week.  Yeah.  Not one of my brighter moves.

Still hurts, though.  Not bad.  Just so uncomfortable.  At least it's not lasting, these episodes.  They come and go.  Not terribly persistent, except they've been happening now for a couple of days.  I'm worn out.  Thought I was done with this brand of fatigue.  Body feels heavy, a little dizzy, arms aching... that sort of thing.  I'll get through it.

The above image was at one point today.. 137 bpm.  Ugh.   Haven't seen that in a while, and certainly not much since my ablations (for AFib, Atrial Flutter, and SVT.. for those who don't know).  And not at all in a few months.  But again, these are thankfully short-lived as far as duration.  Now if they would just stop.  That would be nice.

A cough.  A lump in the throat..that feeling like there's something stuck in your esophagus or just at the back of your throat, maybe a lump in the upper part of your chest... just a few of the fun things that go along with arrhythmia(s).  Not 'everyone' gets these, but they are super common.

The pic to the left...this was my heart, I guess, trying to get itself back into NSR.  Slowly but surely.  Down to 101 at this point.  Still looking erratic.

These episodes make me cough, too... which I don't like.  Not long coughing fits mind, you.  It's usually when my heart converts there's just enough pressure to make me cough like once.

This definitely puts a damper on things, I have to admit.

I'm using this time to drink more water and use a lot less salt and just take it easy.  Our house closing is this week and we have a bit to do in and around that--need to get a couple of estimates on getting the deck refinished, the floor of the sunroom included, most of the rooms painted, and possibly the carpet removed from the hallway and master bedroom removed and replaced with wood flooring.  Nothing wrong with the carpet, we just don't LIKE carpet.  We'll leave the other two bedrooms and the formal dining area carpeted for now.  The breakfast nook and kitchen have ceramic tile, and the living room has wood flooring so those are good.  And there are a couple of other things. Then there's the new bedroom set to be delivered in about 5 weeks.  But packing and such... oh boy.  I really need my strength to deal with that.

The pic at the left is when it came back into NSR (normal sinus rhythm), and boy was I glad.  Thing is, after these episodes... I still feel spent and achy.  Even the short bursts take so much out of me.

So anyone who prays, say a little prayer for me that this resolves soon. :)    It will.  I just want it resolved NOW... because it sucks.

Anyone reading who has an arrhythmia, or anyone who's had an ablation... please go easy on the salt if you're not already!  I'm pretty sure this is my issue.  "Could" be my MVP is getting worse, sure, but.. I think it's the salt.

It's worth it to cut back.  Salt makes things taste good, but really... not THAT good! lol

Be well everyone.  I'll post more 'interesting' things soon.... ;p

Low-Carb weirdness, or is my subconscious mindf*cking me?

Day 3 on Atkins and am having a little of the carb withdrawal.  Could be worse, but thankfully I'm not withdrawing from grains/wheat, processed food, caffein, sugar, etc.  Still, I know this feeling well and it should pass.  Still, WTF is going on with all this other bizzwax?

That low-carb lull isn't surprising, but this craziness with my dreams at night are really getting on my nerves now.  It's not like I haven't brought this up before, and I'm not sure I want to go into the details about who and what is in my dreams or why.  Hell, some of it is hella fun!  Like the drag racing in last night's dream!  THAT was awesome! lol  But, this common theme is really unsettling, to say the least.  Some of it I get.  I really, really get.  And I know my subconscious is telling me to get a freaking life.  No, not telling me, but demanding I get a freaking life.  It's beyond obvious.

I am out-of-my-mind restless now.  Something's going to give.  Correction, something IS giving.  Question is, WTH am I going to do about it?

Simple answer... get a freaking life!

Oh if I only had the cojones to just spell it out here in great bloody detail.  But I don't.  Not right now.  Not even sure I get what it's all about or what I'm going to do about it, to tell you the truth.  But those damn dreams....

Why do I have the dreams I have?  Why are the people in them IN them?  I don't understand.  I wake up and can't make any sense of it all, and yes... the dreams are profound enough that they do follow me about the rest of the day.  And there are times the dreams haunt me for a few days.  Maybe it's because I don't get why some people are in them and why some are not, or why things happen in them or why I don't understand MY role in them.

Blah.  Blah.  Blah.

I could talk to a girlfriend about this, but it's just not that easy, especially when everyone is out of state or hours away.  A phone call often just doesn't cut it.  And when you hang up the phone...you still feel isolated.  Neighbors here are either WAY too old or WAY too young, and the one or two my age I've met just want to get drunk or party etc.  Not my thing.  And I've not gotten out much recently because of the health issues.  So that's changing, but it's taking time to undo the damage from the medications.  One step at a time.

But those dang dreams.  And this dang feeling of needing a road trip.  Not just a road trip but one just for me, to reset everything and find my muse again.  Me, my car, my camera, good tunes, a destination...

Life.

How to starve to death on a vegan diet and make your private parts fall off

No, wait WHAT??  Yeah, everyone knows that if you're vegan or vegetarian you're going to starve to death because, what the hell are you going to eat if you're not going to eat meat?  Right?

Seeds and twigs and grass.  Right?  I mean, who wants to live off of rabbit food when you can just eat the rabbit?  OMG, no!  And if you starve yourself your muscles will be used for protein and..and..and..isn't just about everything made up of muscle?...and what about my, you know, "stuff?"  You know, 'the important stuff'?

What?  You think if you don't eat meat then your muscles will waste away and your junk will fall off, right?

So, to make things easy, and without going through the myriad of facts and such, and without restating the bazillian things listed in abundance on the internet already regarding how you will ultimately starve to death on a vegan diet... let me just skip right to it and give you the horrifying visual of all the grim and non-palatable ways you'll starve.

Brace yourself.  This shit is about to get real.

It's not meat.  I LOOKS like meat.  Ooooh, but it's not!  THIS is how they trick you! 

I'm not falling for this!

And this, this is another way "they" lure you into the vegan trap!  yeah, just take a gander (oops, did I just say that!?!) at this heaping pot of vegan chili!  Non-meat!  It has to be an illusion, filled with visual and culinary impossibilities.  It's a trap.  Just don't go there!

Oh, now we're talking!  THIS looks like some kind of salad!  HA!!!  Gotchya!

But then there's all this creamy stuff, and then some walnuts.  Some herbs and fruit... chickpeas I guess...  I don't trust this.

I simply don't trust this.  Best to steer clear.  I'm sure it's definitely a trap.

I know I see cheese in this stuff.  Right?  Cheese?  No cheese, you say?  WTF???  I KNOW I'M SEEING CHEESE!

Cauliflower?  That's not freaking cauliflower, dude! You're out of your f***ing mind!  Cauliflower that looks like cheese.  You're crazy.

Well I'M not going to eat it!  I don't recognize one single thing there!  Okay, maybe TWO things.  But I'm not eating it, because I don't know what it is.

And where's the chicken?

So this looks okay, but I'm going to have to hit McDonald's after this.  You know that, right?  I mean, where's the beef??!!  Nothing there to eat?!  I'm going to starve!!!

Aaaaahhhhh!!!  A hamburger!!!!!

What do you mean it's not a "hamburger."  I know a hamburger when I see one, and that is a f***ing hamburger!

Mushrooms, my a$$!  And what the hell is a quinoa??!!

Yeah.  I've heard it all, read it all, and at times... thought it all.  But it's all vegan.  Some are main courses, and some are side dishes.  MY thing right now is that I have to combine both vegan/vegetarian with gluten-free.  That is a given.  Though there is one thing that is going to somewhat hinder that from being 100% and that's my cookware.

In order to have a COMPLETELY GLUTEN-FREE DIET you have to replace all of your cookware!  Yep.  And my cookware is an expensive, professional quality set that I'm not about to replace.  Maybe one day.  But not right now.  I've invested in two juicers, so that's enough investing at this time.

Another thing you need to know if you go gluten-free is this:  If you suspect celiac do NOT go on a gluten-free diet, because that will hinder a diagnosis!!!  Get your doctor to get the tests done prior to doing any gluten-free diet, because you don't want to go through that biopsy for no reason!  I doubt I have celiac, so I'm willing to take the risk.

So here's me kicking off my next phase in health, weight loss, and keeping my private parts from falling off!

And yes, there will be some new entries about other things such as how I'm feeling, if my girly bits are still intact (just kidding!), how I feel about the price of tea in England.... or whatever happens to be floating or sinking my boat.

Like I said... This shit is about to get real.

OH. MY. GOURD!!! It cost HOW much???!!

Day 17 and it's the end.  Yes, the end.  But not completely the end.  But don't break out the tissues and start playing Taps just yet!  Let me explain what made me decide to change up the fabric of what I'm doing...

No worries about juicing itself, because everything was fine.  It's a great experience that I am continuing, but not 100% as a juice fast!  And there's a damn good reason for this choice.

Cost.  Plain and simple.

At the beginning of this journey the cost was estimated to be somewhere around $120/week, roughly.  In that estimate certain factors were considered such as what was in season, not in season, local purchases (which would make things less expensive), and buying organic (which means more expensive).  All T's were crossed and all I's were dotted.  But what we didn't consider were shortages, and for any such shortages to include one of the main staples of juicing---kale.

Well damn!

While doing a bit of research yesterday I discovered a few threads on folks who had given up their juice fasts due to cost.  And I found as many discussions on those who chose to suck it up and continue despite the cost.  While this whole cost thing concerned me I wasn't all THAT worried.  But then, T insisted on doing the shopping since he wanted to use his credit card that gave this awesome cash back incentive for shopping at grocery stores.  Okay.  I'm down with that.  And what this translates to is this....

I had NO idea what juicing was costing us until last night!

OH.  MY.  GOURD!

So, how bad could it be, you ask?  $180.00 to $200.00 per week!  YES!!  I know!!!  OMG!

I asked, "WHY didn't you tell me it was costing this much??!!!"  And T's reply was... "I didn't want you to worry, and I knew it was helping you."  *sigh*  Super sweet, yes?  Of course it is.  Still, we have a lot going on and really, a Reboot doesn't HAVE to last 30 days to receive great benefit from all the micronutrients you take in!

I said... "It's time to Transition out."  And so last night I had lentil & veggie soup (vegan, gluten free, organic), and began my transition back into solid foods, and I feel great about my decision.  :)

I had 17 awesome days where my body was flooded with pure, fresh vegetable and fruit juice, free from packaged food, fried food, sugar, gluten, and any other form of garbage that most of us humans put into our systems on a regular basis.

I sleep better than I have since I don't know when, my hair is growing faster, my nails as well, and my skin looks great!  And... I don't crave junk food or sweets!  And trust me, I used to LOOOOOVE sweets.  Not that I wouldn't eat desserts, mind you.  They're just not a temptation anymore.  Also, the allergies that have plagued me over the past two years are GONE!!!  I couldn't breathe before this cleanse, and now I can breathe normally!

And it took only 17 days.  Actually, it took less than that, but I continued my cleanse for 17 days.

What's next?  My next goal is to go vegetarian/vegan.  I didn't grow up this way, and I didn't have this environment ever in my life.  So it's not going to be a "cold turkey" situation (no pun intended).  At least I don't think so.  I still have weight to lose as the prednisone monster and subsequent effects will take some time to correct, but it's okay.  I've come this far and have lost 17 lbs during my Reboot.  :)  I'm good.

So this is really where the fun actually starts!  Phase two is where the works begins, and "the work" IS the fun part, because the journey is going to be fun...  because nothing's really changes, has it?  I mean, all we really want is to look good naked, so... having said that... let's get to work!

Weird, random post out of nowhere....

Odd, but this post originally was started about a week ago and ended up somehow in draft. Oh well, no biggie.  I don't have but a moment, so I'm just jotting a quick entry about a few life tidbits since I really wanted to get this photo up of my happy little Marley.

So far so good on the new house.  There will be a few things done before we move in, and the seller has to fix a couple of things before the final contract is done.  House is still under contract, but there was a contingency in place for any findings during the inspection.  Just 'stuff' we have to deal with, and should be well finished before closing date.

We're having some indoor painting done (I reeeeeaally don't like bright yellow on the inside walls! lol), and the deck out back we've decided to get refinished.  Just a few things done here and there.  In time we will remodel the bathrooms because, well, they REALLY need it. lol  but they're livable and doable in the meantime, so no giant rush at all.  Part of the house is wood flooring, part is semi-white carpeting (which we don't really care for that much), so in time we will put wood flooring in eventually.  And the screened sunroom that divides two portions of the deck (hard to explain, but very cool) we haven't decided what we want done in that room yet.  All pretty much fun stuff.  :)

I'm pretty cold today... and.. the last two nights I've dreamed about eating! haha Guess I should've expected that, but it's still a little funny and surprising.  Let's see, last night I had a large, fried chicken patty, and the night before I had deep fried broccoli.  I know!  Seriously, what's THAT all about!?!  I've never eaten deep friend broccoli before. lol

I'm beginning to wonder if this is going to be an every night occurrence. ;p  And still so incredibly strange when you think about it, especially when I wasn't in the habit of frying food, and then in my dreams everything is fried.  Go figure.

Oh well.  Maybe my body is trying to talk me into eating, not sure.  But I'm not ready to call it quits, and I'm going to stick with this as long as I possibly can!  My minimum is 30 days, and if I can go longer, then I will.  If I go the 30 days, then I'm going back to the vegan & gluten-free Transition eating I was doing before I began the Reboot, because I was losing some 3 lbs per week.  Then after about a month, I will start another Reboot.  I will play it by ear.

Maybe I'll start a daily post and call it.. "Midnight Menu." lol

Day 14 - Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat

Day 14 -  I tried standing like that and I think I pulled something and scared my family.  And my dog.  But the good news is that I've lost 14 lbs so far and I'm one day away from my first 30 day goal!  30 days of juicing, and I'm half way there!  Yay!

Funny ad, but I have to say there's a little truth in it.  These days people are shallow, and unless your significant other truly loves you, he/she will hit the dusty cow pie trail and you'll be left in a fatigue-laden, dust-clouded aloneness.  But then, maybe that's for the best.  Either way, this goofy ad speaks about a "vegetable compound," so there IS a little truth in this advertising, after all.  They just didn't tell the whole truth.  Of course, they were just trying to sell something.

Juicing is still the best way to get an abundance of the good stuff into your body.  Plain and simply put.  And... you'll be peppy too, for yourself, your family, your LIFE!

Life.  My life.  That's really what it's all about anyway.  I have to wake up every day and face myself, who I am, where I am, no matter what, and tell myself that I am okay!  :)  Now, if you're like me you may know you're a bit on the 'not-so-normal side,' and that's even better!  ha!  So go with it. I do, and I plan to keep doing so.

I embrace my not-so-normalness!;p

So today I got out of bed and I told myself that I'm going to take it easier than I did the last few days.  I over extended myself a bit and now I'm paying the price.  But that's not a bad thing, because it just means that my energy is up and that my body is in a state of "WTF??!" lol

Now it's just about taking it a step back and easing into things a little bit at a time and deciding not to conquer the world in one day.  Dang it.  I was so hoping to do that in a day, too!

Another thing I need to remember is to stop being so impersonal about things when I'm making my entries here.  As I was typing I realized I was going down the road of disassociating myself, personally, from my entries (for the most part) and had to go back and change some wording, phrasing, etc.  Old habits, I guess, not wanting to expose myself too much.

Bad habits are meant to be broken, and I'm going to make that one my bitch.

So, what bad habit are you going to make your bitch today?

Noodles!