Liquid diet and decisions, decisions, decisions

Today is the day before my EGD and colonoscopy (just had one last year), and as anyone who's gone though a colonoscopy knows... the day before, the liquid diet, and especially the prep... is absolutely awful.  So that's what I get to deal with today.  It is what it is, and it's only until tomorrow afternoon.

I honestly can't remember if I even spoke about it here, but I have to have the EGD and colonoscopy due to nonalcoholic steatohepatitis and my ferritin being pretty low.  Normally with liver issues the ferritin goes UP.  In this case the Dr suspects a bleeding situation, such as peptic or duodenal ulcer, the latter being the highest suspicion.  Either way, today isn't going to be fun or easy.  C'est la vie.

On with the liquid diet consisting of mostly clear Gatorade.  I also have a few other things on the list that I'm allowed, but I have to drink 8oz of Gatorade no matter what, and then begin drinking the prep solution (mixed with clear Gatorade) at 4pm, and begin the doses of dulcolax at 3pm and again at 5pm.  Why am I telling you guys this?... so if you ever have to go through this, you'll will have had a heads-up as to what you'll possibly be facing.  Trust me, I wish I'd known before my first one, because I would have INSISTED on another prep than the old kind.  It's horrendous, and I flat refuse to EVER drink that stuff again.  Why the hell doctors still use that garbage is beyond me, especially when there are far kinder preps out there at their disposal.  Just saying.

Diet---decions.  I'm striving toward a Vegan diet and have been transitioning from an ovo-lacto vegetarian diet.  Not eating meat is easy for me--of which I've explained in the past.  Meat isn't that important to me, and I don't crave it like some people do.  And when I have eaten it in the past I usually felt sluggish afterwards.  Fish, however, didn't have that effect on me.  Still, giving up meat was simple.  My problem now is my health issues and the change in diet that's on the horizon once we get down to the bottom of things with the low ferritin, liver issues, etc.  Oh, and finding out the hard way that there was hidden dairy in something.  I will spare you the horrors I go through if that happens.  But anyway....

Much is unknown at the moment on how to proceed from here.  So many ill effects from medications I've taken in the past, including weight gain and completely f'ing up my metabolism to the point where I'm finding it difficult to lose.  *sigh*  Still, aside from that I do wonder what I will be asked to do.

Will the doctor tell me I have to eat meat?... will I have to go Paleo?  I know low-carb is one way to fight what's going on with the liver, but... low-carb and Vegan/Vegetarian do not mix!!  All of what I've read people are on a low-carb, higher fat and protein diet.. such as South Beach.  I really don't know what I'll be told, but I do know that if I really am dealing with NASH... I'm at a huge risk of fibrosis...then cirrhosis.  Though rarely do people who have NASH reach that stage, it is still a risk.  Nothing like those who drink, however.  I'm at least quite fortunate there.

So considering the possibility of having to deal with adding animal products back into my diet I'm left feeling a bit lost and uncertain.  I don't think I can do it, even if the doctor says it's necessary.

There has to be a way for me to maintain my chosen lifestyle and achieve the results I need....

Really?

It's been a confusing and unsettling series of events over the past several months.  Health issues overlapping relationship issues are taking tolls on me that I'm having difficulty keeping up with.  Damage control has become the name of the game each and every day, and I must say...this is NOT how 'life' is meant to be lived.  This.. is not living at all.

Living life.  Isn't this supposed to be something that comes naturally?  I mean, as ridiculous as it is to even say out loud, I still feel like this is the big question of the day.  After posting in Where Fireflies Dream I feel like I got some debris out of the way and am able to really touch on what it is I need.  Not that I didn't know what those things were, because I did... do.  It's just that I wouldn't allow myself to really think about those things for more than a few seconds, because dwelling on them (imho) didn't seem like the productive thing to do under the circumstances.  Know what I mean?

Stating the obvious to affect change largely doesn't work.  Well, actually... I've found it doesn't work at all.  So what then?  What now?  How do I proceed to correct the imbalance in my life so I can FEEL ALIVE, have an actual life, and also breathe.. thrive.. and reignite the vibrant flame that once burned inside me?  And just how do I go about doing this when I feel like shit all of the time?

Tomorrow I see the GI specialist again to figure out, I assume, what to do about my unhappy liver.  I don't drink, smoke, and I don't take but the most necessary medications.  And... I avoid Tylenol now like the plague.  I don't know what he will say tomorrow.  I have no idea if he still wants to proceed with a liver biopsy--something that is avoided if possible.

Damn.  I'm too tired to continue here.  Perhaps I'll come back a bit later.  WTF.  *sigh*

Liver

One word that can change everything.  Who focuses on their liver?  No one.  But maybe we should...

Short and sweet for now, because I've told all in my other blog.. Where Fireflies Dream.  But basically my blood work came back showing Stage 3 Nonalcoholic Steatohepatitis (NASH).  It's hereditary, and it can happen to anyone.  Precursors are usually diabetes, excess weight, and a few other things, and people can have this for years without ever knowing.  Liver enzymes can be elevated during one test, normal the next, and varying degrees of both.  So some actually have no idea they're dealing with it until they have symptoms, or when it shows up on labs.  Either way, one must be their own advocate if faced with this, because too many GP's shrug it off and try to treat it themselves.  VERY BAD IDEA, to say the least.  This disease should be dealt with and monitored by a GI specialist.

Right now I'm still in the waiting game.  I have a follow up to discuss my lab results next week, and in a couple of weeks I am scheduled for an EGD and colonoscopy.  Duodenal ulcer is suspected as well, so the EGD is basically for that.  Now, whether or not he decides to to a liver biopsy at that time remains to be seen.  Grading criteria with labs is such that, in many cases, a biopsy is unnecessary.  However, in the case of NASH, because of the inflammation and damage doctors often opt to do the biopsy.  NASH, btw, is the more serious form of NAFLD (Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease).

There's no actual 'cure,' but there have been cases where treating with diabetes meds help... even if one doesn't have diabetes.  Specific diet changes and exercise is really key to helping to stave off the progression of NASH into cirrhosis.  Many times with NAFLD people have been able to reverse the effects and heal their livers.  But if they revert back to anything that caused the issue to begin with (not controlling diabetes, eating a bad diet, etc.).. NAFLD can return.

Prognosis really depends on the individual case, how much damage is done (if any), etc.

This is all I have for now---shortened here due to feeling like crap and having posted the whole thing on Where Fireflies Dream.  I'm tired, and it's time to chill.

till next time.....