Time Precious Time.

As my shoulder heals it becomes easier (and faster) to type these entries, rather than do audio entries, copy them to youtube, etc.  It really is very time-consuming.  While time IS precious to ALL of us, I did promise a couple of people that I would continue with some audio entries.  "Some." ;)  I have two parts of an entry to upload, and also one short entry.  Not 100% that there will be time today/tonight to upload them, but I will try tomorrow if it doesn't make it today.  On one hand I feel as if time flies by in a blur of nothingness, and yet.... I feel that all I have is time ticking away second by second, minute by minute, tiny slices of life that honestly provides so little of what I need to call my life... a life.  Even so, I'm trying.

All in all, what else is there to really say other than I'm wishing my life to be very different than it is? I can't for the life of me think I've been less than clear on that issue, so it amazes me a little that I've not bored you all to tears by this point.  Well... thank you for being here just the same.  I appreciate it.

Goals, being what they are at the moment, are distant, disconnected, and the lines having blurred so many years ago that I'm not even sure what it is I'm looking at anymore.  I know what I want--sort of.  I know where I've been---for sure.  But dammit it's just a pain in the ass trying to figure out where the hell this is all going, meaning my life as a whole.  How does anyone find their way through he muck and mire of all the hidden possibilities when all there 'seems' to be are hidden possibilities.

I can't say I'm at all liking the idea of asking myself the same question for the rest of my life---"What now?"  That's not a question I like, nor is it a question I can answer at this time.  I 'feel' strongly that an epiphany is coming, that it will reveal itself before long.  Just something I feel in my bones, and that's good enough for me.  In the meantime I'll just keep my eyes open.

Waiting.  I've spent my life either waiting for life to happen or walking the wrong path to make it happen.  IS that life?  Nah.  I don't think so at all.  Maybe this is a preservation, conservation or recovery time that's being forced.  Hell if I know.

.... I wish I could be THIS open in my audio blogs.  Guess that's something I'll have to work on.

Well, me and my confused self are going to move on to the next blog and see if I can get something done with my thoughts.

Until next time.....