Shhhhh...

Don't ruin it.  That moment.  The one where I can, for a flickering millisecond think that my life willchange for the better.  Don't talk.  Don't ask any questions or make demands.  Don't expect too much from me right now.  Just be quiet.  For a few minutes.

Just.  Be.  Quiet.

Sleep eludes me again, though unsettling dreams continue to invade everything when I do.  I close my eyes, earphones in place, and I listen to playlists that contain the secrets to my life, my wishes, desires, hopes, goals, and sometimes.... past experiences.  Inside the music I go, ready to put another day completely, thoroughly behind me.

 Allow me THIS peace if no other.

Don't try and have a conversation with me when I'm dosing off.  The intrusion of such an act goes right through me, having been allowed so little access to sleep when I try.  Don't talk.  Don't demand. Don't ask.  Leave me be for this one necessary thing.

My past is filled with nights where far too many demands were made and left me in the throes of sleep-deprivation for days, sometimes weeks.  Thank God it was but one relationship that presented the worst kind of disruption to an otherwise peaceful life.  Yes, I lived in it for far too long.  Looking back, my thought is.. "Why didn't I stand up for myself?"

But now I can.  Mostly.

This falling asleep during the day is too much, too familiar.  I hate it.

So just... be quiet when the night comes.  That's all.  Give me that... one.... thing.

Please.