It's Friday again. The Friday-Meanness.....

Friday.  This is the one day of the week most people look forward to, even if they have to work the weekend.  For me, Friday is just another day of the week, and one that (in one respect) makes it one of the worst days.  It would be nice if that weren't the case.

For some time now Fridays have been.... trying.  I often allow myself to look forward to them but am usually disappointed.  There is a pattern, one that isn't even mine... but one that greatly affects me.  I can't change the pattern because, well, the pattern and behavior(s) are that of someone else.  And we know we can't change other people.

I'm exhausted today (Friday) so I'm not terribly optimistic.  The day began VERY badly because I got my ass chewed for not knowing how to do something.  And this something is something you CANNOT do unless you know how.  This is what I get for offering to help someone who isn't willing to help me help them.  I'm screamed at, hung up on, and all because I don't know how to do this particular job/task.  It's involved, VERY involved, and not something that can be done quickly or easily.. even if you DO know how.

I should be focusing more on MY situation, but instead.. I volunteered my time to help someone.  I'm not asking for anything in return, not even money.  But this does help this person's business in a huge way.  But seriously... it's taking hours and hours of trial and error and reading tutorials, phone calls, research.... and I STILL don't know how to do this.

But I'm not going to focus on that one thing.  The real topic here is why one person in my life seems to get mean as a rattlesnake EACH AND EVERY FRIDAY.  WTF?

THIS week, aside from the train-myself thing, there's this other recurring issue that really is quite the double-edged sword... talk, or the lack thereof.

I've never been able to talk easily.  I often don't know what to say or how to say it and know I'm boring so don't really have much of anything interesting to say.  But given that, I do try.  Over time, since childhood, I've struggled with this and often just resigned myself to listening more than talking.  At 49 yrs old it's a huge part of who I am.  The balance to that... I get excited about something and often say too much, talk too much.  Either way.. both scenarios are annoying to some people, my BF included.

Before I sent this text I called him.  No answer.  Then I text him, and he wrote back that he was in the tub.  Rather than call and talk to me.. he continued to text.  He was making jokes about a particular thing, and I was responding with "LOL" or other short little responses... because I didn't know what else to say.  If we had been on the phone I would have laughed and said "you're so silly.'  But I guess my texts weren't interesting enough or amusing enough, and the Friday-Meanness continues.

The last text I received was:  "Well, my word count greatly out weighs yours so I am off to amuse myself."

Every.  Single.  Freakin'.  Friday.  WHY the hell can't I be allowed to have ONE happy weekend without drama???  I had a really good day at work despite the ass chewing that happened immediately before I left for work.  I didn't get to share any of that with my BF because he's apparently not interested in that.

"...so I'm off to amuse myself" pretty much says it all, doesn't it?  "I" wasn't "amusing" enough.  But then, I guess I didn't realize I was kept around for amusement.

Well alrighty then.  I guess I'll just continue finishing my laundry for work tomorrow and go to bed.  I do have to get up and work so I need to keep focusing on my life.  I'm too tired this evening to stress out over whether or not I happen to be amusing enough for him to be kind to me.

*sigh*