Wrapped in music and questions...

Maybe recent health issues are stirring things a bit, bringing the treasures to the surface like waves tossing beach glass and shells onto the sand.  I can see so much through those every-moving waters.  There they are---gifts, offered and pulled away.

Spent the majority of last night listening to music.  To quiet those whispers within that speak wether I want them to or not, even in sleep.  Sleep...always there in the shadows of a small room with tall windows.  Life's graffiti splashed upon the walls.  So much color there, moving by candlelight.  It's only memories, sometimes animated in dreams.  An unwilling passenger on a ride destined to never end.  And yet I'm here, finally, opening my eyes, stepping closer to those walls to see.  I just want to see.  Afraid to see.  I want to turn, to squeeze my eyes shut.. tight.  To run.  To run.  Because it's all there in full-blown color, splashed, swept, carefully drawn.

Careful.  Don't look.  Just don't.

Not a single moment of respite from the memories.  Awareness is all there is.  In so many ways I welcome this.