The tired little voice...

Yeah, well...

It's a bit silly posting on two different blog sites.  Really it is.  So, what's the point?  No one can answer that, and maybe they're feeling far more nostalgic about it than I am.  Or maybe they're a bit more freaked out by the upcoming ablation than I am (a little cryptic, isn't it?).  And so here it sits on the web and not really serving any purpose but as a sounding board.  I suppose that's what any blog is, any that's not meant as a teaching tool with an exact purpose in mind, that is.

Whatever.

Moving on.

Feeling exhausted this morning, though that's situation-normal for me these days.  Yet I'm tired enough to feel like laying down after typing a couple of sentences.  Once the beta blockers are out of my system, post ablation (IF the EP decides he will do the ablation), I should feel much better JUST from that alone.  And I certainly am looking forward to that.  There is simply too much to do to feel this way all of the time.  Anyway.....

In hopes of learning more about what to expect after the procedure, and again this is IF the EP (electrophysiologist) chooses to DO the procedure, I learned mostly that I shouldn't have perused the forums of patients who've had it done.  Recovery appears to be lengthy and not what I was expecting.  I mean, a swollen heart?  Now that's something I hadn't expected to read about.

It makes sense, after all.  We have surgery on anything else and there's swelling, right?  Of course there is!  So why not a heart?  Sounds utterly disgusting.  And how does a swollen heart behave exactly?  Well, depends on why it's swollen, of course.  But I'm not getting into all that.  For the purpose of cardiac ablation for AF... it swells and doesn't behave itself most of the time... to varying degrees, depending on the situation.  *sigh*

Months.  I've read it can take a couple of months to have a full recovery and get to a point where there aren't any post-procedure symptoms.  Doesn't mean you won't be back to somewhat normal within a few days, but many people end up taking off work from 2-4 weeks, and sometimes longer if there's other complications....which there's no need to go into here.  The healing process itself can cause some ugly complications.

And then there's the news that I won't be coming off the heart meds right off.  That is the most disappointing part, as well as the fact that I may also be on additional meds for a time.  Yes, I would be weaned off in time, once they establish that no AF is recurring, not even short bursts (which still means the SAME super-high risk of stroke and, later, heart remodeling and resulting CHF).   They determine this by a 30 day heart monitor.  I'm highly allergic to the adhesive on the leads, so I'm hoping they will have a hypoallergenic alternative!

I guess in my mind I envisioned it would be a bit like the last heart cath I had, maybe with a little more recovery time.  Though I do know how dangerous and risky and serious this procedure is, even without the ablation.  I mean, hell, they use little wires that are inside your heart (while you're anti coagulated!) and strong MRI-like magnets OUTSIDE your body... to help guide them. And that's just for the mapping portion.

Anyway, I'm weak and tired... my arms are giving out.  I'm done here for now..... and leaving this blog up for now..... again. lol

Laterz taterz....

As the dust settles here...

I suppose I will allow the dust to settle here on Blogger.  So much to focus on elsewhere, and I am liking LiveJournal a bit more anyway.  There are more than just a few ways to move on, ya know.  I've given some thought to retrieving some of my photos from my old, and mostly defunct, FB account, deactivated so long ago that it seems like it was in another lifetime (which i guess it was)....

There are a lot of photos on that FB page.  I left that profile and never looked back, thinking I could just resurrect the old external drive to retrieve the photos at some point and reconstruct things from there.  Wow... that is an undertaking mess of epic proportions, as it turns out. lol  One I would be up to eventually, just...not right now.  So the easy road it is.  I'll go in, grab the goodies, then make my exit.  I'm expecting a few friends there to be a little confused at first. lol  The ghost of Ella past! hahaha

Boo!

Ah well.  No biggie.  Still, not sure when I'll have the time today.  IF I will have the time today.  But there really are so many photos, so much photography there that I didn't retrieve when I left....  blah. blah. blah.

Once the dust settles from the gathering of old photography, etc., and saying a final goodbye to that old FB profile, I will post a farewell message on my Blogger pages and settle into a new place of sorts.

Come the 24th as I lay in that twilight sleep, perhaps the Muse who's been missing for so long will experience a cardioversion.  Maybe....that's what's she's needed this whole time.

Maybe.

I was blown away

When I first began watching this video I thought I would laugh.  A lot.  I mean, the raspberries, after all. ;p  But as I watched, yes.. I still smiled from time to time.   But.. I was amazed, and I realized that this guy.. is probably the smartest and happiest guy.. in the whole world.

I smiled at this unusual & eccentric man.  And yet, inside... I knew I would never, ever forget his words.  Or him.

Live Journal

I took the plunge.  Looks like I'm liking Live Journal a little more every day.  So I'm sticking with it at least a year.  Hey, I paid for it, might as well!  Yeah, yeah... I could've stuck it out for free, but I've spoken to enough folks about the paid version (pretty cheap, actually) who all said it was "SO well worth it).  It's done.  'Nuff said.

http://ellaboobella.livejournal.com is the addy for anyone wanting to visit.

I'm not deleting this blog, btw.  It's been around a long time and has a bit of nostalgia for me, really.  Not just a little of my photography, either.  Maybe a few echoes here and there of my past, even if some of it is only echoes left of past-deleted posts.  Blah blah blah.

Firefly is having a spa day and a beauty treatment, and I'm just trying to breathe well today.  But.. I'm going to give a quick entry over at LJ anyhoo.

Blah.

blah.

and

blah.

E.P. Study clinic visit. Time to put on your big-girl panties.

Finally.. the appointment is made.  The diagnostic procedure itself is highly risky, and if they decide on ablation or pulmonary artery vein block... the risk goes higher.  This, of course, could depend on if they find atrial fibrillation is the key culprit, or if atrial flutter is the key culprit.  What makes it tricky is that if one has atrial flutter... AF is often present or lurking just around the corner.  They already found AF anyway, so the questions still remain, such as... is there anything else, and if so... what?

The clinic appointment is to discuss IF the procedure(s) are critical and worth the risk.  I get that.  As one doctor (an Electrophysiologist with Atrial Fibrillation) mentions (in his online blog), "It is not for the faint of heart." ;p  I kind of like his sense of humor.  But he is being serious, after all.

Am I afraid?  Not really.  But I respect the seriousness of the situation and the procedure(s) involved. The study itself involves a lot of risk, one of which is the possibility of perforating the heart of an anti-coagulated patient.  Hey, they make you WELL aware of this risk and make you sign forms when these procedures are done because the risks are serious, even when you're in the hands of a highly skilled professional.

"Just don't think about that stuff!" some may say.  Seriously??? But only a fool would shove it all away and pretend the risk isn't there, tip-toe through the tulips and walk into the situation like their IQ just slipped below 70.  Seriously.

This is the time to put on your big girl panties and be a grown up.  We're not going to the doctor to get a shot and a lollipop.  This is "The big guns" (to quote the EP doc).

Again, I'm not afraid of doctors or hospitals and feel mighty blessed to have the opportunity to take care of the thing that has been (possibly) ruining my life for so long.  I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth, and I will walk into this procedure (if it comes to pass) as I did my last heart cath.  I knew the risks then, too, though they weren't near as great.  So anyone who is perplexed as to why I'm not afraid, well, I guess they just don't know me that well, and they sure haven't been in this body for the last several years.  Or they would be as eager as I am to have the chance to feel normal and energetic again!... no matter what the risk.  Because living every day as if you have no energy, massive crashes that leave you feeling 100 years old.. is not living.

I'm ready for answers.  And I'm ready for a solution.  Risk be-damned.

So June 30th is my clinic appointment to see the Electrophysiologist.  We will go over my records, symptoms, then discuss the risks of the study and possibility of procedures and options.  I suppose that if I had any fear at all it would be that he would decide NOT to do the procedure (ablation, vein block, etc).  I need relief from these symptoms.  I really, really do.  However, he's the guy who deals with matters of rhythm, whereas my cardiologist 'can deal with those issues... he is actually a cardio 'plumber'... whereas the EP guy is more of an electrician.  Give that, Dr. O. can possibly make medication changes that will help.  But I must say, I'm NOT at all keen on taking drugs that mess with heart rhythm as they have a huge risk of causing dangerous arrhythmias of other kinds.  *sigh*

I simply don't know how this visit will play out.  But I do really hope he does the study to see what exactly is going on.  If we can get that far, at least we will know what to do.  An ablation may get me off the beta blockers, which would help a great deal.

Speculation. Speculation.  Speculation.

Wish they had an earlier appointment so I could get this over with.  As it is, the AF makes my BP plummet, so that makes the fatigue, breathlessness, dizziness, chest pain, etc. come on board quickly. And it seems to get worse each week.  I just hope they hurry.

Would be great to feel better... because the below... sucks when it happens, and it happens more often than not.  But... just 10 more days...

P.S. The little white graphic at the top above the systolic pressure, the one with the heart.. that's an indicator of irregular heart rhythm.  Anyone considering getting a BP monitor, I suggest this brand and this model.  It's ratings are high, and the irregular heart rhythm indicator is great for anyone who is monitoring such things, or to catch a "possible" issue.  It's not a diagnostic tool by far, but if it comes up a lot you can bring it up to your doctor and they can look into things further.... just in case.

Spa Days & Typos (really?)

Well, I WAS going to talk about typos... funny autocorrection stuff (which typed out "auto corruption" initially)... but blogger's software went NUTS!  Weird. lol  Seriously, blogger?  lol  Too funny.  So... on to the other subject instead.....

Anyhoo.

Spa day wasn't referring to me, but to my little Firefly.  She gets the car-doc today to get a little of this and that done, then next week to the beauty parlor for a little bit more. :)  I told her she's beautiful as-is... but just needs a little TLC.  Wish I could do the work myself, but I'm on two medications that will put my BP through the roof if I stay in the heat for more than a few minutes. :/  Plus the Afib is rearing its head these days.  No biggie... my little friend is in very good, caring, and capable hands.

Also took my once-a-month drive to Daphne today, which actually turned out to be sooooo nice.  I don't take I-65 the entire way, so about 20-30 minutes is rather fun and scenic.  Good music.... just me and the road.  Even without the Mini it's an enjoyable ride.  My heart did crazy stunts the whole way, as it has been doing for 3 days straight... and off and on over the past week, but you know what?? So what!  I had an AWESOME time.  I WIN!  Ha! lol  ;p

And... only a few sprinkles of rain.  Yeah... this was a great day.  I'm just going to chill and count the days til I can pick up my Firefly next week.  Hopefully I can go get her on Wednesday.  :D

Oh... and I finally got my plate transferred over! And yes.. forgive her rained-on butt.  She needs a bath, which she will get when I bring her home. lol ;p

Happy, happy, joy, joy.......

Barbarians!! Naaaaaah. ;p

So, I'm getting a better idea of why Cap1 uses barbarians in their commercials.  No, they're not bullies. lol  But they ARE persistent.  I'll give them that.  And it was a little amusing watching the types of 'invitations' I received from them over time.

First came the standard invite in the usual white envelope with nondescript letter inside.  Nothing fancy, really, just the usual fare of 'here's what we can offer, and won't you apply for our card?  Please, and thank you.'

Then came the thicker envelopes with a few more pages and the artistic, bold fonts in fun colors.  Yet, still lackluster in pretty much all respects.  I received several of these a week and got to a point where I didn't even bother to open them before they landed in the usual File13 dispensary.  I never really gave it another thought from there.

The weeks passed.  Several more trees vanished in a rainforest somewhere, I'm sure cut down by many Cap1 barbarians.

Then one day, months later, I received a rather lush-white envelope in very nice bond, embossed, and filled inside with something heavy and stiff.  This was a little different, so I decided to open it and appease my curiosity.  Now what could this be?

After opening the nice envelope I found a nice invitation from Cap1, this time they're presentation was, well.. I'm not sure I know quite the word here, but they sure went out of their way this time to get my attention.  I mean, I've seen wedding invitations that weren't quite this nice.  Reminds me a bit of the welcome Discover gives you when you're invited into the fold.  It was amusing, though, because for some reason they REALLY wanted me to apply.

Did I?  *snort*  Like I'd ever admit if I did or not.  Point is.... it was amusing watching them woo me the way they did.  And not one doggone barbarian.

Seriously.

Fireflies and Mini Coopers

Busy weekend!  I got my dream car this weekend!! Drove about 2.5 hours to get it, and I looked online for weeks until I found "the one."  It was love at first sight.  And.. it's the color of a firefly butt.  *snort*  ;p  Liquid Yellow, as it's actually called, but the color of the beautiful fireflies that play in the front and back yard of my house each evening at dusk, fireflies... something I've loved forever (that's another story).

Anyway, I'm a happy girl.  HAPPY girl, indeed.  :D

Not the best photos, since I used my iPhone to take them, and rather hastily since I was more intent on driving my little friend (Firefly)... but, well, better pics to come.  :D :D :D

Wow... about 4 1/2 years ago... THIS brings back some old memories!

LiveJournal

Just a heads-up.... I may be posting more over there than here.  Too long [and boring] of a story to go into here, so let's just suffice it to say that there could be a transitioning of sorts from here to there over a few weeks (maybe days).  Depending on how much I like it over there compared to here.

We'll see.

ellaboobella.livejournal.com

blah blah blah.

etc. etc. etc.

so on and so forth.

Hmmmm.....

My second favorite song by TBM, and every time I hear this song "Alibis" only one thing comes to mind... "Dexter."  I do have to wonder if the songwriter was a Dexter fan too.....