Quiet.

I can't seem to gather my thoughts these days.  Relying on my ability to to put the pieces of the puzzle together so I can make sense of my life is getting more difficult as time goes on.  Yet, I still believe it's worthwhile to continue trying, pushing forward as much as I possibly can, despite the obvious discomfort it brings.  I can't say I've ever known an 'easy' life, and when I do get there.. just within my reach... someone comes along to wreck everything I reached for.

Self-blame seems to be the 'in thing' now, and there's just no way I can honestly get on board with that.  I mean, if one is looking for a better and more positive life, isn't self-blame the antithesis of personal happiness?  Trust me, that's a rhetorical question.

"Oh, but you mustn't say 'self blame' when it's actually taking responsibility for ones own life..."   Sorry, but I'm calling bullshit on that one.  Most of the time when people fling that argument on the table it looks like they're just giving themselves a reason to not take responsibility for the harm they caused in someone else's life.

Just a random thought in the few minutes of silence I've surrounded myself with at the moment...