Note: The above photo is of one of our resident mockingbirds, who showed up with his/her mate. They never seem as worried about us humans as most other birds. A curious creature.
The worst of it is that we were actually sitting at the breakfast nook table watching them, and there were so many out there, when the collision happened. One minute they were all content, and the next... a sudden scattering of wings when they all flushed in almost every direction. Something frightened them, and one of them lost their lives in the process. I had hope for a moment, hoping the little female cardinal was just stunned and needed to recover. I picked her up, held her... until she was gone. And yes, we even made a call to our dog's vet (who also treats birds), and after asking a few questions he told us she was gone.
I'm not dwelling on the event above, because man has made the world dangerous for animals, and having to witness what I did sunk me to rock bottom. I cried every day, off and on throughout the day, for 3 days. My thoughts were a mess---Could I have done something else to prevent this? Was it somehow my fault? If only..... These kinds of thoughts aren't healthy, and... sadness often lies. I take steps, precautions.. to make sure the birds are as safe as possible, but nothing is guaranteed, other than maybe boarding up the windows.
Still, I was left haunted by the pretty cardinal I held in my hands, hoping she would be okay.
This is just a moment in time here, a placeholder in my life, and the sadness is there. With my more recent history of unhappy events (relationships, etc), the sadness brings forth those things I'd rather leave in the shadows, ignored, and hopefully forgotten. But sadness lies...
Sadness lies.
More on this later.....
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