What the hell... why not?

I created a blog, a safe place to let it REALLY all hang out.  But.. I'm going to post this here, too.  Many things won't make it here, but... this one I will.  I do have a couple of girl friends who may want to know how I'm feeling about some things....
....................

....but the spooky little girl within lives on.

Spooky procedure tomorrow means playing in the dark little playground of haunted things today.  I wish I felt well enough to work on the dolls I need to work on, but... wish in one hand.. (my mom used to say).  Yeah, well.

I suppose in the spirit of Halloween, primarily as a catalyst but not as a rule, I began looking for background images and fun things for my laptop and phone.  I wasn't disappointed.  Since I'm not up to decorating anything else, I began the task of decorating the two things that take the least energy and am finding I'm quite pleased with the results.

My iPhoneasaurus background is my favorite, especially with the perspective view option in the preferred 'on' position.  Love that 3D effect, especially with something like this hanging out in the background.  But then, I can't help being who I am.

It's the simple things.

I'm simply feeling out of sorts today, really.  Something is amiss, that's all I know, and there's this niggling feeling just at the edges of my conscious mind that just will not leave me alone.  I know full well what the source is, but the actual message I'm fully aware that I'm, well, completely ignoring.  Don't look, don't look!!

Could it be that I'm not as tough as I like to think I am, that my going to this appointment tomorrow alone (preferably alone) is really just false bravado?  Thing is, I'm not worried about the procedure tomorrow, nor the outcome.

It's really something else entirely.

All I'm willing to say is that in late July/early August I thought there was a pulled groin muscle or tendon, something...due to the cath procedure for my ablation.  They do have to turn your leg/thigh outward in order to access the vein/artery in that area.  The pain wasn't there right away, and I didn't take notice, nor do I recall exactly when I noticed the pain that began somewhere in that area.  But what I do know now is that it has progressed, worsened, and it now extends upwards to the lower pelvic region is (right side), and the pain continues onto my lower back as well.  It's progressed to the point where it's often difficult to sleep.

I've come to the conclusion that this most likely has nothing to do with the ablation procedure.  Things should have felt 100% better in a few days post-procedure.  It will have been 3 months in just a couple of weeks.

I have a pelvic ultrasound soon.  Now that one is a little spooky.