He was a good dad.

Mockingbird dad with one of his fledglings.  This is one of the last few photos I took of him (and his babies) before he was taken by a Cooper's Hawk.  In nature... the cycle of life is just what it is, but this loss saddens me deeply.  Funny how close one becomes with nature's beautiful children when quiet respect for them is put forth first, when gentle observance is the order of the day and any situation  I miss his songs and his presence, and the way he tolerated my presence in the most surprising ways.  I hope the little ones are off onto their own territories and enjoying their new world and lives.  Be safe, little ones.  Be safe.

Long gaps between entries here doesn't mean nothing is going on.  In fact, usually the long silences are do to something very much going on in my life, and it's most often of the unpleasant variety.  Honestly, trying to even begin to explain what's transpired over the last several weeks is nearly impossible, and some things... are just difficult for me to wrap my head around, much less share it out in the open.  Some of it's personal, and some of it is absolutely, deeply personal.  Sharing the latter with anyone is the hardest.  Few understand me, and even fewer understand that which rocks my world---both in a positive or negative way.  Still, I will try and share what's rocked my world lately, as hard as it will be.

The undercurrent in my life is being, well, separated from a 'normal' life.  For most, as it is for me, that means 'living' (using the word loosely) in a severed state, if you will, from people.  This isolation has been coming on and getting worse over the years, and it seems to get far worse the sicker I get, and the more I end up in a situation where the guy in my life becomes the only real human contact I have.  The only thing that truly feels like 'me' anymore is my love of animals, nature, and photography.  Those things, above and beyond all else, will never change.  How far I can submerse myself, however, does change and is dependent on the other aspects of my experiences here on planet earth.  It's an often sad, lonely, and very happy existence when one is forced to live outside their natural norms, and when the most of the responsibility for everything inside and outside the house, property is left to me, even when my body isn't up to what I, and T, have demanded of it.

My days aren't completely joyless, however.  A pair of bluebirds checked out one of our nest boxes for a few days, and trust me.. that's a blessing considering our yard and area isn't their type of habitat. They prefer open areas, whereas our area and property is heavily wooded.  There's also a gorgeous male Summer Tanager that's been hanging out and singing from the trees, probably trying to attract a mate.  So, while this life I'm in leaves much to be desired, I have my moments of joy and beauty.

I'm a little spent at the moment, and I've lost the flow of things here.  I'll amend that with a part II soon.  Til next time.....