Seriously... have I lost my mind?

....Rhetorical question.

Because I already know the answer.  I MUST have lost my mind to put up with the crap I've been dealing with lately.  I mean, SERIOUSLY, what the hell is wrong with people these days???

....NOT a rhetorical question.

I have tried SO hard to give people the benefit of the doubt, to forgive beyond what most would tolerate (FAR beyond), and it's only brought me grief.  So why on earth do I continue to do it?  Good question.  Now if someone would kindly tell me the answer.....

Yes, yes.. I know.  Only "I" know the answer to that.  Still, I'm in awe of the abuses people are all too willing to dish out; the behaviors that even my 13.5 year old granddaughter would find 'childish.'  And these are ADULTS I'm talking about.  I swear it's true---it's not who you know, it's who you blow.  Metaphorically speaking, but the truth is... kiss enough ass and you get your way.  SAD SAD SAD.

People lately have left me SO unimpressed.  The meanness, lies, gossiping, drama, the ceaseless string of BS that, in the end, really only ends up as a comedy of errors anyway.  Again... I'm SO unimpressed by this.

I have enough on my plate (only wish it were food!).  I don't NEED or have time for BS.  People do nothing but take, take, take and want more when they've gotten it all.  WTF?

I'm trying to survive on 14-20 hours per week, and that's a stretch!  My boss is nothing short of unprofessional (as is most who work where I work), and it's a den of angry little children, ranging in age from 20 to 40 (excluding myself).  Honestly, someone in a position of authority should lead by GOOD example.  The examples set recently only promote and encourage DRAMA.  And guess what? It works.  Nothing but drama, drama, drama.  I'm sick to death of it. SICK to death of it all.  My BS tolerance meter is pegged.

Yep. I'm ticked.  I'm tired of having to live off of less than $130/wk on a job that is only bringing me pure grief and taking WAY more in gas to go there and back.  I mean, how smart is it to schedule someone with a 30 minute commute?  I mean, COMMON SENSE may lend insight to that, one would think.  I have LESS than two days worth of hours per week... spread over 3-5 (sometimes six!) days!  WTFH?!!!  I can't do this crap for much longer.

And then there's this little thing of spending MY time trying to help someone, who isn't willing to help me help them.  Work for free... to help their business, VOLUNTEER (when I desperately need to work on MY income), only to have them bitch and complain within LESS than an hour of starting.   The belittling, snide remarks, disrespect, hang ups... all because I ask two questions.  Um.  REALLY?  I'm told to teach myself.  Um.  REALLY?  It took me HOURS today to get done what I did... only to find out it was all wrong.  I do NOT know databases.  I have NOT done this kind of work before.  So if I ask a question.... why the hell is it some indication that I'm an idiot or moron?  Oh yeah, because this person has on MANY occasions called me just that.  THAT is another talk show for another time.

And yes... I DO realize this is turning into a bitch session.  Sorry... but this is my place to vent, and I DO need to vent.. or blow.  Period.  The shit I've dealt with lately is nothing short of abuse, and I.. am.. SICK.. of it.

I can't afford rent (lowest around too).  I can't afford food.  I can't afford anything.  Thank God my neighbor allows me to use her wifi.  I can only access it in one location of the apartment, and at times i can't access it at all, but hey.. it's something.

I don't expect anyone to save me.  People aren't the saving type anyway---that went out of vogue eons ago.  People now are all about themselves, wanting you to be there for them whenever for whatever, but they aren't available at all when you need someone, and I mean REALLY need someone to talk to.  Ok.
whatever.

I'm hungry, afraid, worried, anxious, depressed, fed up, headachy and nauseous... so I'm not in the best of moods.  The worry makes me angry, and I'm not the angry type.  I deal with ridiculous insensitivities from nearly everyone I know, and it's just infinitely disappointing.

*sigh*

Time to take my dog out.  At least I have my animals.  They have more humanity than most of the people I've known in my lifetime.... combined.

For the record... please, no Polyanna-ish answers.  They don't help anyone.  Nor does "it will get better!" and "Hang in there" and "Think positive!" statements.  Most utter those phrases as a kneejerk response (because it's easy and takes no real effort or feeling or compassion), and they do not really offer any kind of real solution or, better yet.... any real encouragement.  Diminishing the seriousness of another's situation, feelings, etc. is unkind at best.
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