"That's what they all say"

It's a reply I often hear in response to my saying... "I love you." Either that or... "Really." I don't know what to make of that sort of thing, quite honestly, but the patronizing tone and sarcasm, I suppose, should speak for itself.

Maybe I just don't speak fluent Patroneeze or Sarconeeze. Truth be told, I will be quite happy if I never become fluent in either of those.

At what point does a person just stop saying the words? If they mean so little and are unwanted or unappreciated, why bother?

I'm not actively making comparisons between my situation and that of others, but comparisons are always being made in the human mind, and anyone denying that little fact.. is lying to themselves. At least I can admit my human frailties. But comparisons being what they are, they exist because the mind needs to understand something it can't find 'sense' in.

My mind is no different. When something doesn't make sense to me I want to know why, and I want to have it make sense in my head---even if the logic behind it all turns out to be painful. So be it. Sometimes.. the truth hurts.

I'm too tired to constantly analyze every single solitary minute little detail of every single solitary moment of every day. That's enough to tire an athlete, much less someone who's tired to begin with. So here's my brain trying to sort things out, make sense of the seemingly senseless, and I pay a HUGE price for that in lost sleep, lost health, diminished joy in all things "life." Now talk about something not making sense!

Back to comparisons....

I watch. I observe for a reason. I don't judge, but I do make mental notes as I learn and see and experience, albeit second-hand, what others do and have, etc. And I see so much, to many telling details. I don't WANT to see what I see. But I do.

Love really isn't complicated. The emotion is there or it is not. You choose to express it, or you choose to not. But watching others, the interactions between couples who are supposed to be 'in love' with one another.. I see something. Well, actually... I see a LOT of somethings. And it seems to me that this much is clear: If you love someone.. it's really not a choice to express that love or not, because love simply IS.... or it IS NOT.

So in the absence of expression, in the absence of that incredibly strong emotion, one must ask.... "IS this love?" Most of it is just a guessing game, because none of us really know what 'love' actually is, and the meaning and definition of love is subjective to the spirit in which it resides (or not). Having stated the obvious.... the question still remains: If someone chooses to withhold love, withhold the expression of love, refuse to accept love given and expressed.... does that particular love exist?

I'm not about to go scientific with this, because I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE SCIENCE OF LOVE.

Love...

I'm just sayin'....