Leaning Back

I can lean back and still have an open heart.  I can nurture myself and be loving towards others--maybe even more so because of it.  I can love deeply without hanging on.  I can wait, while loving, and take care of myself too.

Today is "it."  Reborn in a way.  I can finally say... "I get it" without hesitation or second-guessing.

I can't hate one part of me and claim to love myself.  I can't exist without boundaries and claim to love myself.  Defensive is not the same thing as self-love.

Leaning back....

Not grasping or pulling, nor pushing or clinging.  Leaning back.  Just that.

Not indifference---patient acceptance of me.

Desperate to fix, no more.
Desperate to identify myself through the eyes of another, no more.
Desperate for love, no more; because I have myself.
No more loneliness when I'm alone; because I have myself.
No desperate need to repair or replace; just because something doesn't fit doesn't mean it's broken.

I am aware of the rich and abundant capacity to love that I possess.
I am accepting of all that I am.
I am at peace with who I am, and I am feeling immense joy in the revelation that I...am...a worthwhile human being.

I feel no need to explain myself.
I love being a woman and all it entails.
I do not need or want to assume the role of the masculine.
---No need to constantly fix and orchestrate 'all.'
---Open and willing to simply....be.
---Open and willing to accept love.
---I revel in the strength on the inside, the softness on the outside.

I feel my feelings and allow them to guide me.
I do not need to repress, hide, mask, deny nor force-change what I feel.
My feelings are important.

Today I understand what is required of me to be truly, abundantly happy.  Today I accept and revel and delight in being a woman, in being a feeling and thinking woman with much to offer.  Today I accept and revel in just being myself.

I know my boundaries and am strong enough to say 'no.'
I am not a toy, a bridge, or a servant.
I acknowledge and accept that I possess an ego, conscious, and subconscious and accept that ALL THREE of these are integral parts of my being.

Leaning back....

I've not let go of the reigns of my life, because I know that I should be living my life, rather than my life living me.  I choose.  I see.  I hear.  I listen.  I feel.  I respond.

This is my life.

I have simply leaned back and am grasping the reigns comfortably now, rather than hanging on for dear life.  I'm not desperate to put the breaks on or back up or turn around and run.  I choose, instead, to lean back.

My heart is open.  My spirit is at ease.  My hands are open, soft, relaxed.  My eyes are open, aware, but not searching.

I will not chase, but I also will not run.

I am simply here.  I am me.  I am living my life simply by.. being.

I allow myself to FEEL.  If the feeling feels wrong, if it's unhappy or negative, then I can and will simply choose another course.  But I won't stop myself from feeling.

I do not need to deny a feeling to change it.  It is not healthy to deny or resist feelings and far healthier to feel them... then choose appropriate measures in order to deal with them.

I do not need to hang onto a negative feeling in order to deal with it.  And I certainly do not need to discard it, suppress it, or will it away to deal with it; if I don't feel it, I'm not dealing with it.

I am leaning back.

No longer am I leaning forward to find what I need.

I am a woman existing within the realms of her dominant feminine energy.  While I accept that all humans have feminine and masculine energy, I acknowledge and accept that my dominant energy is feminine.  I acknowledge and accept that it has caused me harm to my emotional and physical being by attempting to exist in more of a masculine energy state; it's simply not natural for me.

My natural energy flow is feminine... accepting, open, and feeling, receiving... just 'being'.  I do not need to change who I am or what I am in order to please others.

I accept myself.
I love myself, possibly for the first time in my life.
I understand myself and now rely on my instincts, my intuition... to help guide me.

I am strong on the inside and soft on the outside.

I am a woman.

I am.. me.