All we've ever wanted is to look good naked.. lol

I prefer the official music video, but it's nearly impossible to find in high quality and in its full version.  Robbie Williams is a trip! lol

Hurts - Sandman OMG.. I love this song...

I first heard this song on Vampire Diaries...and immediately began looking it up on iTunes (sounds SO good in my car!).. there's just something about this song....  This is live, but...  well, I just LOOOOVE this song.  :)

When I think about black Friday....

Did you miss me?

No?

Yes you did!


Admit it!


All right then.  I know how proud you are, so we'll just leave it at that and get down to business....

What business?  well, honestly, I don't really have any.  Well, okay, there are a few things.  I'm trying to keep on level ground with it all.  Yes, "It all."  I'm still not ready to spill everything here just yet.  In time....

Life is still just.. plain.. weird.  And I don't really get out that often.  Okay... pretty much hardly ever.  Heart still acting up on occasion, which tends to take me out at the knees for a bit.  But I'm still hopeful.  I have approximately 2-3 days a month, maybe, where I feel normal.  *sigh*

But I'm ticking off the clock to something SUPER COOL, and... I'm keeping that tidbit to myself for now.  But yes... super excited. (((cheesy grin)))  December 17th is the intended date.  If I squint I can see it just up head in that distant horizon where the sun is perpetually in that gorgeous shade of twilight.

Still feeling tired, and a bit more than just a little out of sorts, so I'm going to sign off for a while.

Laters, taters!

Epic? Oh yeah. Definitely epic. ;p

So much going on.  The good news is that a few days here and there I almost feel normal again.  Trust me when I say that's epic!  It will get better and better.  In the interim... I plug on and dream of better things that are and continue to develop and grow, of things that lay ahead.

Waiting for the moment when I can get that gym membership, when the ligament is healed and I can move normally without risk... that's not easy, but it's do-able.  Again... getting there.  Trusting in the balancing act of keeping appointments and one's sanity all at the same time is proving to be a bit daunting, to say the least, but... that too is do-able.

December 17th will be a day.  An epic day.  An exciting day.  A baby blue day of which an explanation will come later.  I will be counting off the days until then.  Well, that will the first of two countdowns, really.  The first is step one.  The second is step two.. and the biggest, really.  Oh.. but I'm not giving anything away just yet.  ;p

Thanksgiving.  December 17th.  Christmas.  February ??  Valentine's Day.  February ??

They're not just holidays.  They're not just dates on a calendar.  And some.. some have meaning only to me.  But those private dates (for now) are EPIC! ;p  Oh yeah... definitely epic.

Such a nice word.  Epic.

Midnight

Well, as expected, one of my favorite vampires showed up on all my devices in my Kindle app.  I've been reunited with Lestat!  Yay!  How awesome is that?  Quite awesome, if I do say so myself. :)=

Not sure what "The Prince Lestat" holds.. but I'm ready to find out!  Thank goodness for iPad Air 2 and that large, back-lit screen! Woo hoo!! :D

As for Lestat... I really didn't like Tom Cruise as Lestat in the first movie.  He didn't fit how I pictured Lestat at all... but... in Queen of the Damned.. oh wow... now THAT Lestat was ultimate perfection.  I mean, I saw 'Lester's' face and thought... that's exactly how I saw him in my mind!  If there's another movie on the horizon at all, I hope they choose an actor that portrays Lestat equally well....

"On behalf of Apple I want to extend my thanks..." Wow!!

I will get to the Apple thing in a moment, but first... about reading.....

It's true.  I used to love reading.  I mean, really really love reading.  When I was little I would literally carry bags to the library just to carry home the books I wanted to check out.  I couldn't get enough.  That love of reading never left me.  What DID leave was my perfect vision, and those dumb readers you find at the pharmacies... leave a LOT to be desired.  Let's just leave it at that.

So I saw an eye doctor who said I don't have to wear glasses all of the time, but my vision isn't so great anymore.  Yeah.  I gathered that.  And he gave me a Rx which I've yet to fill... mostly because I know I'm going to be completely girly and picky about the frames.  Even if I'll only be wearing them to read, they'll STILL need to look good. ;p  But the whole eyesight thing isn't just about the blurry thing...

I need backlighting.  Don't ask.  I've no idea.  Book lights don't help either.

Now that Anne Rice has gotten off her duff and written another in the Vampire Chronicles collection... I HAVE to start reading again.  It's been way overdue, and I simply have to read this new book.  So why not a reader?  Kindle??  Something like a Kindle?

Well, it sounded good initially.... But for a good, high quality one, well, I might as well just get a tablet.  So I did something I thought I'd never do.  I ordered an iPad.  An iPad Air 2.  Why not?

Now... about the endocrinologist appointment!

I'm happy to say I received a call from my endo's office this morning.  They had a cancellation and I was able to get the spot!  My appointment is tomorrow morning instead of December 3rd!!  I was SO glad to get that call!  There are two doctors at that clinic, and the one I'm seeing did most of his training and fellowship at the Cleveland Clinic, so he's a good doctor, and I know someone who vouches for him.  I'm hoping he will be able to get to the bottom of things and find out what the heck is going on.  And if nothing else, he can at least do the follow-up with the whole thyroid nodule thing.

A funny thing about Apple (and me):

So, I don't toot my own horn too often, but I will for just a moment.  I had a weird issue since the release of Yosemite, one that affected my iPhone.  Yes, the OS on my MacBook Pro affected my iPhone.  Let's just say that the smarter these devices get, the more they talk to each other, and the smarter iCloud gets... the more room there is for things to go awry....

Without going into great detail, I will just say that my Mac was basically telling my phone.. how to ring... even when it was off.  The problem began with something that started on my Mac, though one may not have thought so.  But I KNEW it started there....

After talking to the Apple geniuses (thank God for AppleCare!!)... who passed me to supervisors in both the OS dept THEN to the iOS dept, neither of which could figure it out... the iOS 'Upper level' technician was poised to do a master reset.  I told her, as I did everyone I spoke to... "It's not my phone.  The problem is with the Mac, and iCloud is telling my phone how to ring now..."  I then told "kate" that I thought I knew how to fix it and wanted to try that first before pulling out the big guns.  She said that was fine and gave me her number and direct extension, as did the supervisor of the OS dept who sent me to her when he and the engineers he spoke with couldn't figure out what to do....

I was pretty certain that what I wanted to do would fix it.  It was SO simple, really.  No one would believe that it was the MacBook Pro which was causing the issue.  But I KNEW it was.  I was positive it was....

So we ended the phone call.

The problem: When Apple created the ability for "Handoff," making it so you could make/receive calls from your MacBook and iPad... you were also given something else.. the ability to change your ringtone.  The idea, I believe, that they had in mind.. is that your iPhone would be controlling things. However, once you open your contact on your other device and open the ringtone options, choose another ringtone... that's pretty much it.  iCloud takes over and it tells your phone how to ring.  Hopefully they've fixed this by now!.........

I spent a lot of time on the phone with Apple supervisors while they talked to their engineers, called me back, and with no one finding a fix.  The fix should have been as easy as changing the ringtone back on the phone, they said.  Well, yeah.  I tried that.  It didn't work... which is why I called them.

They also said the phone should be controlling the ringtone, not the MacBook.  Well, yes.. I would think so.  And they were all saying it had to be the device, my iPhone... not anything software or MacBook related.  I didn't agree with them.  They were stumped.

What I did:  I went against instinct at first and just deleted the contact on my phone and recreated it.  Now prior to any calls to Apple.... my MacBook was off the entire time the wrong ringtone was playing, so I knew the information was 'in the cloud' so to speak.  The ringtone was set correctly on the phone, and again...phone rebooted prior to any calls to Apple, all the usual steps taken.

Contact entry recreated on the iPhone, asked person to call me AGAIN to test the ringtone (they were SO patient! lol)... still the wrong ringtone.  So... I did what I should have done right from the beginning...

Booted the MacBook, opened Contacts, deleted the entry with the unchangeable ringtone, DID NOT RECREATE THE RINGTONE IN CONTACTS IN THE MAC!!!  Closed the MacBook.  THEN.. I recreated the contact on the iPhone, had the person call me again...correct ringtone!  PROBLEM SOLVED.

Logic would tell you that all call-related information should be controlled by your iPhone. Yes, your other devices can make/receive calls now, but your PHONE is the primary source for making and receiving calls, so it only makes sense that THAT device should be the source of control.  So Apple has a couple of bugs to fix.  Anyway, it just made sense to delete the offending problem (contact entry on the MacBook) and recreate the entry with correct data (including associated ringtone) on the phone and allow iCloud to update the MacBook with the correct information.  Which it did.

I called Kate & Ken (Kate high level tech in the iOS dept, and Ken is the supervisor in the OS dept) and left messages on their answering machines that I had fixed the problem and told them how... since they said they hadn't gotten any other calls that they knew of about the issue yet.

Ken called me this morning to check up on me to make sure everything was working well.  He said "Looks like the iOS dept got things working for you!"  I told him, "no.. actually, they wanted me to do a master reset, and I didn't want to go that route yet, so I told them I wanted to try something first and that I would call them back if it didn't work.."  Then I told him about what I did.

Ken was very enthusiastic about the fix and said he'd been talking to his engineers about the problem even as of this morning because they really couldn't figure out how to fix it or where to begin.  I told him basically that as long as no one touched the ringtones in the Contacts on their MacBook.. they would be okay.  Hitting "Edit" was even okay.  Just don't scroll through the ringtone EVER. lol  He took notes and thanked me.  In fact he said.....

"On behalf of Apple I want to extend my thanks, and to tell you that this information is being forwarded to our engineers so we can put out an update to fix this.  So you can tell your friends and family you've helped Apple solve this problem and have become a part of the solution, the update that fixes it!"

How cool is that? :D  And you know he also said, "You know, none of us thought once to try that. lol"  And I was thinking, 'because you guys tend to think BIG, when often the solution is a relatively simple one.'  ;)

Kind of cool getting kudos from Apple.  hee

"Give me ONE good reason to watch Vampire Diaries," she said...

Benign Follicular Nodule

And there seems to be no one who agrees on what to make of what these are... exactly.  Well, okay.  Benign, but they don't say 100% or if it's forever.  So much room for error.  And then it all just becomes a watch and wait game.  Hasn't it always been this game anyway?

Too much information, all conflicting.  Oh well.  Not that big of a deal since it's thyroid-related anyway.  I've ditched the rude ENT and have an appt with an Endo who has a fairly decent reputation.  Not an easy thing to get an appt with this guy, but the wait will be worth it.  He can review everything and decide if the FNA or ultrasound has to be repeated in 6 mos or a year, since the ENT wasn't all that engaged in the situation.  Plus, Dr. Ergin deals with a few other issues I'm having to deal with myself, so maybe he can shed some light on those things as well.

It will also be nice to talk to a hormone specialist about the (in)significance of Free T4 being .10 within the range of normal.  Just curious just how far out of range of normal something has to be before it affects the body.  Sounds silly, but giving how so many doctors rely on lab values I wonder if they really believe it's like flipping a light switch.  *shrugs*

Weird day today.  That's all I'm saying.  Just weird.

Dear Dreadful Diary....

It's almost Halloween and I'm afraid I'm not at all ready.  My body has been my worst enemy of late, and there are frightfully more horror stories associated with that than I care to admit.  Ghastly, I know.

Cold as a corpse, most days, though I indulge in a frightening film or series on the television to appease my inner Wednesday Addams.  Still, the lovely expanse of yard in front of my house is as empty as a zombie's eyes.  No monsters, ghouls, ghosts, or beasts there....

A mournful sight when looking upon the decomposing blades beneath a sleepy Autumn sun.

All the beasts of the season remain in waiting in their respective places, tucked in corners and boxes, a hanging head in a cage near a back window in a darkened storage room where things go to be forgotten for a time.  There's more Halloween in that place than in most, yet it will remain in its confines for yet another year, sadly tucked in the shadows among the trivial excesses of everyday life.

As I stand in that room taking in a small indulgence of nostalgia of Halloweens past, I wonder at the lost Halloween of 2014, and if I can successfully silence the insidious question that seems to naturally follow...

What the hell... why not?

I created a blog, a safe place to let it REALLY all hang out.  But.. I'm going to post this here, too.  Many things won't make it here, but... this one I will.  I do have a couple of girl friends who may want to know how I'm feeling about some things....
....................

....but the spooky little girl within lives on.

Spooky procedure tomorrow means playing in the dark little playground of haunted things today.  I wish I felt well enough to work on the dolls I need to work on, but... wish in one hand.. (my mom used to say).  Yeah, well.

I suppose in the spirit of Halloween, primarily as a catalyst but not as a rule, I began looking for background images and fun things for my laptop and phone.  I wasn't disappointed.  Since I'm not up to decorating anything else, I began the task of decorating the two things that take the least energy and am finding I'm quite pleased with the results.

My iPhoneasaurus background is my favorite, especially with the perspective view option in the preferred 'on' position.  Love that 3D effect, especially with something like this hanging out in the background.  But then, I can't help being who I am.

It's the simple things.

I'm simply feeling out of sorts today, really.  Something is amiss, that's all I know, and there's this niggling feeling just at the edges of my conscious mind that just will not leave me alone.  I know full well what the source is, but the actual message I'm fully aware that I'm, well, completely ignoring.  Don't look, don't look!!

Could it be that I'm not as tough as I like to think I am, that my going to this appointment tomorrow alone (preferably alone) is really just false bravado?  Thing is, I'm not worried about the procedure tomorrow, nor the outcome.

It's really something else entirely.

All I'm willing to say is that in late July/early August I thought there was a pulled groin muscle or tendon, something...due to the cath procedure for my ablation.  They do have to turn your leg/thigh outward in order to access the vein/artery in that area.  The pain wasn't there right away, and I didn't take notice, nor do I recall exactly when I noticed the pain that began somewhere in that area.  But what I do know now is that it has progressed, worsened, and it now extends upwards to the lower pelvic region is (right side), and the pain continues onto my lower back as well.  It's progressed to the point where it's often difficult to sleep.

I've come to the conclusion that this most likely has nothing to do with the ablation procedure.  Things should have felt 100% better in a few days post-procedure.  It will have been 3 months in just a couple of weeks.

I have a pelvic ultrasound soon.  Now that one is a little spooky.