"Can't text busy"

Female Northern Cardinal before sunset. 2018

Life is a funny thing, isn't it?  And people.. are even funnier, spending their time and energy as if they've been given some guarantee that they have, well, all this 'time.'  But let's be honest.  NO one has any guarantee they'll be here next year, next month, week.  Hell, we've no idea if we'll be here the next minute.  So why do so many decide to aim their focus on those things that, truth be told, just don't matter in the long run.  Such as... saving 30 seconds to a minute responding to a simple text message that was sent in order to give information, not to inspire a conversation?

I gave up trying to figure T out.  In my last relationship it did take me a bit longer to understand that some people simply aren't worth your time and energy, but this time it's different.  VERY different.  I don't waste my time now, and I pick and choose where what little precious energy I have goes.  What I have learned in the last 6+ years is that the only person who has my back is me.  Oh, there've been a lot of lip service from some, but my eyes are open to the disingenuous nature of some.

That middle place is the worst.  Trying to give him information he needs isn't always easy.  There's the "Can't text busy" and the "Wish you'd told me before I got home."  Good grief.  Can't have it both ways, pal.  You don't want the information, you can wait till you get home.

Dumbest damn thing to worry about, don't you think?  I mean, when I get a text I can't answer, or if I can't have a text convo with that person right then, I just ignore the text till I can talk, or I send a text telling that person that I'm busy but we could talk later.  Outside of an actual emergency, what else is there?  But seriously.... must we waste time, LIFE on this crap?  Way to shut a person down.

There honestly isn't a good time to talk to him, either in person or on the phone/text.  His priorities are screwed beyond reason.  His 'free' time is spent with his face in his phone, or he's sitting on the sofa in front of the tv.  I mean, that's all fine and good, but if someone is trying to talk to you... put the damn phone down.  And this scenario played out so long always ends up with choosing to talk to someone else.  This puts me right back to a question I have to ask myself nearly every single day:  WHY am I here again?  To this day I still don't have an answer.

"There's a million ways to communicate"... said no one EVER.  Communication is a VERB.  There is a speaker, a listener, and the roles interchange throughout the process.  DUH.  Yeah, I know... but you'd be surprised how many people just don't get this.

So what then do I do with all the people out there who say "I'm here if you need to talk"?  I did tell T that I have to be able to talk to another human being, that being inside and alone most of the time, even when he's home, isn't working for me and never will.

I told him that I guess it's time for me to take those other people up on the offer to talk.  His response?  "You can talk to me."

Uh, sorry dude, no I can't.