I can hear it in my dreams.

What was.  What should be.  What was lost.  What is.  An unsettling representation of what I'd rather not think about, a rejected idea of what life is supposed to be.

I sometimes see images online, hear stories from people, stories that pique my curiosity in that I see and hear I can't connect with in any real way.  "So this is life?" is the outcome, the question that remains unanswered but accepted just the same.  My reality, my life doesn't in any way reflect what I see out there in the world.  This kind of thinking only leads to a pointless series of "What if?" scenarios that didn't, nor will ever, ever happen in what remains of my lifetime.  Such a useless response, isn't it?  I definitely think so.

I've gotten to where I really hate dreaming.  I hate waking up from them even more, to be honest.  Again, I find them completely useless.

Damn.  When will the clouds lift?